Look, it must be tough being Clark Kent. Not only does he have a high-pressure job as a journalist at the Daily Planet, but Clark Kent also needs to suit up and save the world as Superman. The problem is both “careers” are demanding and require a lot from a single person. News never sleeps, and neither does crime or catastrophe around the globe. As a result, Clark is always on call for both jobs and struggling to juggle responsibilities. But is he committed to them equally?
How often does Clark miss deadlines? What about the poor sub-editors who need to work long hours because this bozo waits until the last minute to submit his drafts (if he even does)? And what about all the discreet time off Clark takes for his side hustle? Sorry, fam – let’s face facts here. Clark deserves the axe from the Daily Planet because he’s a terrible employee who lets everyone down at work.
Look! Up in the sky! It’s unreliable man!
Being a journalist actually works out for Clark Kent in one area: Reporters are supposed to be on the ground and chasing stories and leads. They aren’t meant to be glued to their desks all day, unless they’re stuck on the entertainment beat and writing an absurd number of SEO clickbait articles, such as 9 Reasons Metropolis Is Worse Than Gotham City, Ranked. Yet, even with all the flexibility, he abuses the system and prioritizes other activities. If he hears a cat meowing in a tree in Auckland, New Zealand… Poof! He’s gone.
Due to this, Clark is dreadfully unreliable. Imagine having a meeting set up with him for a story and he doesn’t pitch. (After a while, the “I had diarrhea” excuse doesn’t cut it anymore, bucko.) He lets down a lot of other co-workers who rely on him too, such as Jimmy Olsen. Let’s be real here for a second: Perry White is a corporate puppet and always looking for areas to cut expenses and increase profit margins. If Clark takes Jimmy somewhere and bails on him to stop Lex Luthor from colonizing Mars, Jimmy is left standing around with his camera in his hand. Either he stooges on Clark dropping him or he says nothing – it puts Jimmy in a tough spot and it’s likely he will do the latter to keep the peace. Eventually, Perry will wonder why he’s even paying Jimmy anymore and wish him well on his future endeavors.
Not faster than a speeding Oxford comma
Sure, Superman possesses super-speed and heightened senses, yada, yada. But every writer knows no one can escape putting their butt in a chair and putting words on the paper. It just needs to be done. With Clark’s focus being all over the place and all the Justice League meetings in the Hall of Justice, how much time is he dedicating to his craft? In all likelihood, his work is rife with errors and simple spelling mistakes since he never put much effort into his English classes at Smallville High either (see: Smallville).
Also, this is the man/alien who couldn’t think of a better name than Superman. He’s a wordsmith for heaven’s sake – if this is the effort he puts into his own secret identity, expect him to litter his work with bland words such as “very” and “extremely.” Metropolis might see Superman as a hero, but the real legends are the editors who make Clark’s work legible to the public.
In the real world, would Clark Kent be fired from the Daily Planet?
The shoddy work and unreliable nature aside, Clark Kent isn’t a troublemaker at the Daily Planet, so that definitely counts in his favour with Perry White. In most cases, managers tend to target those who are vocal about the injustices in the workplace and demand accountability from their colleagues. Clark keeps a low profile, always smiling at co-workers and generally not contributing anything to meetings. In other words, he’s a dream employee for corporate. If this was the real world, heck, Clark would not only have a job for life – he’d be solidly entrenched in corporate management.
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Tell us, would you hire Clark Kent? Let us know in the comments.
