Jason Momoa arrived at the Supergirl world premiere on a motorcycle in character. And we’re assuming he had a cigar on him, too.
And it would make sense, because getting Lobo’s cigar into the film was apparently a genuine fight for Momoa. “It’s a little small thing, and not that I want to support smoking,” Momoa told The Mary Sue. “But he has to have a cigar. It was a little fight that I had to have. But it has to be in there for the character.”
With Supergirl opening June 26, just a few days away, and Momoa already talking to James Gunn and Peter Safran for an R-rated solo film, that cigar fight probably tells you why he’s exactly the right man for this job. It also tells you why a 23-year-old low-budget short film is suddenly the most relevant piece of DC media nobody’s talking about.
Christmas in the pages of DC comics has always been a little weird, especially because Santa Claus actually exists in the universe. And he’s not the mall Santa, either. He’s the real deal. He’s also the guy who can break into Apokolips every year just to hand Darkseid a lump of coal.
So, in Gunn’s DCU, where we have super dogs, Lantern squirrels and giant monsters stomping Metropolis (it is called Gods and Monsters after all), the idea of Father Christmas showing up probably feels less strange than it would in the DCEU. All that brings us to one of the strangest, bloodiest bits of DC holiday history that somehow still hasn’t been fully embraced.
It’s time to take a look at the short fan-film adaptation of the infamous The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special comic book — because with Momoa’s Lobo about to hit screens for the first time, it’s never made more sense. Yes, it’s Ho-Ho-Lobo Time.
The premise of The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special (which is available to watch on YouTube, by the way) is simple: Lobo, DC’s baddest intergalactic alien bounty hunter, gets hired by the Easter Bunny to whack Santa Claus. That’s it. There’s nothing more to it than that. Still, it’s the simplest ideas which work, and nobody ever accused the Lobo comic books of being the most intellectual reads ever. They were about blood and guts and having a good laugh, and they were lots of fun. Thankfully, the people behind this short film knew that, and they didn’t try to tart it up in any way. It’s short and to the point.
That being said, here’s a run-down of what happens…
1) Lobo walks into a bar.
2) Lobo gets hired by the Easter Bunny to kill Santa.
3) Lobo goes to the North Pole and slaughters some elves.
4) Lobo confronts Santa.
5) Santa tries to distract Lobo by giving him a gift, so that he can kill Lobo.
6) Lobo kills Santa.
7) Lobo kills the Easter Bunny too, because he hates the holidays.
8) The End.
It’s a weak but silly story, and this was filmed on a really small budget, so don’t expect any glossiness. The guy playing Lobo, Andrew Bryniarski (Zangief in 1991’s Street Fighter and Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning), looks decent, and so do those playing the Easter Bunny and Santa. There’s not much real violence on screen, though, which is a bit of a shame, and the sound quality and editing could have been better. But for what it is, it’s still a handy way to waste 13 minutes. So there you have it.
Strangely, if there’s something The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special proves, though, it’s how DC/Warner Bros. really missed the boat on not doing a proper Lobo film a few years ago. Sure, it would have been a gamble. Having an ultra-violent, rule-breaking anti-hero and playing them for laughs is a tough sell if not done right, and maybe it would only appeal to a small audience. But then, who would even take that chance?
James Gunn has proven he understands how to twist holiday sentiment into something funny and slightly unhinged (just look at The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special). The 1992 Lobo’s Paramilitary Christmas Special comic by Keith Giffen, Alan Grant, and Simon Bisley didn’t play Santa as sweet. Kris “Crusher” Kringle was a bare-knuckle brawler, and Lobo hijacked Christmas using the Naughty and Nice list like a hitman’s spreadsheet. Brutal and dumb, sure, but also kind of perfect.
A Lobo DCU Christmas special built around that idea doesn’t even need to be canon, of course. All they have to do is frame it as a warped story Lobo tells kids to scare them straight. Let Santa stay mythic. Let Lobo be ridiculous. At this point, the real crime would be not having a Jason Momoa Lobo Christmas story. And keep his cigars too.
