Allan Unger’s London Calling shares a lot in common with Simon West’s Old Guy. Both stories are about a veteran hitman who needs to take a young apprentice under their wing. In this film, Josh Duhamel’s Tommy Ward screws up a job in London, because his eyesight is terrible, so he lands up in Los Angeles doing jobs for crime boss Benson (Rick Hoffman). Tommy wants to head back to London to see his son, so Benson cuts a deal with him: Tommy needs to take Benson’s LARPing 18-year-old son, Julian (Jeremy Ray Taylor), on a hit and show him how to be a man. Then Benson will organize Tommy a safe passage back to London.
London Calling‘s script follows the buddy comedy formula to a T. You know the drill. Tommy showcases frustration with Julian, bemoaning the fact he has to be in this situation with him, before they become the greatest of pals and learn to appreciate each other for their differences. Even the final act telegraphs itself from a mile away – where is the surprise in cinema nowadays? You can’t help but feel frustrated at this lack of effort in the story, since the film takes zero risks. It’s so by the numbers that it feels cobbled together by the stones of other movies.
Having said that, there’s something here between Duhamel’s Tommy and Taylor’s Julian. They’re both charismatic (in their own unique ways) and work well together on screen. The laughs don’t stop, as they bumble their way through a madcap adventure. Hands down, they’re the worst hitmen on the planet, and that’s what makes them so appealing as characters. Plus, the running gag about Tommy’s bad eyesight never stops being funny.
Hoffman’s Benson is a nastier version of Louis Litt from Suits, but he’s more tropish than fully fleshed out. His motivations also seem off, especially in 2025. LARPing and roleplaying are widely accepted nowadays, and it’s odd to see this character react so strongly to his son’s activity that’s pretty mainstream. Couldn’t the writers have found something else to upset Benson?
In terms of antagonists, the undisputed standout in London Calling is Neil Sandilands as the crazed Irishman Alistair McRory. Sandilands understands the assignment here, leaning into the outrageousness of the film and never letting up as a wildman. He proves difficult to kill, which leads to side-splitting moments in turn. There’s one scene where Julian tries to open Alistair’s mouth like he’s posing with a lion, and thinking about it still brings about a chuckle.
London Calling isn’t about to displace your favorite buddy comedy as the new top pick. It’s forgettable and predictable fodder, with most viewers likely to have amnesia to the storyline a week later. Regardless, there’s a certain charm to the characters, especially in terms of the leads. Is it something you need to watch in theaters, though? No. Rather wait for it when it’s on demand or streaming.
The Review
London Calling
London Calling's charismatic leads make up for a vanilla story.
Review Breakdown
-
Verdict
