What The Alien Movies Teach Us About Working For Corporate Companies

While most people believe the antagonists in the Alien movies are the Xenomorphs and their kin, the reality is that the Weyland-Yutani Corporation is to blame for this mess. All of it. If this despicable company had run a clean ship – like it ethically should – 1979’s Alien would have been a short five-minute film featuring a happy ending without chestbursting and facehugging. But no, the greedy execs couldn’t help themselves, rubbing their hands at the allure of alien eggs and leaving the Nostromo crew out to pasture. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident, as Weyland-Yutani continues to make bad decision after bad decision throughout the series (including Alien: Romulus). The corporation embodies every terrible characteristic of companies that love to create a toxic culture – quite literally – where acid is spit around the corridors and people want to set the place on fire. So, in an effort to provide solid life advice that LinkedIn experts won’t share with you, let’s look at what the Alien movies teach us about working for corporate companies.

The CEO Is A Psychopath Who Only Dreams Of Their Own Legacy

Peter Weyland loves the sound of his own voice. He views himself as a groundbreaking pioneer who sees into the future and wants to create a new society in his own image – figuratively and literally. There’s a 100% chance he has a podcast and gives Ted Talks that degenerate into ego masturbation for him.

Also, there’s this other thing where he dreams of becoming immortal and hoping the Engineers share the secret of life with him. In other words, he’s no different from a majority of corporate chiefs who view the companies as their own pet projects to further their legacies. They refuse to collaborate or consider the needs of others, as they will stamp out anyone who gets in their paths. 

The Company Brainwashes Stooges To Snitch On Colleagues

What do David, Ash, Rook, and Bishop have in common in the Alien movies? They’re stooges for the man. While they present themselves as helpful and willing to provide advice where necessary to those around them, make no mistake about it – they have been programmed to serve only one master.

It’s no different from the dodgy people encountered in an ordinary office. Many of them are plants with a sole purpose: To gather dirt on others to share back with their superiors. Their loyalty lies to the person who brainwashes them into drinking the Kool-Aid and repeating the company mantra over and over again like they’re part of the Peoples Temple. The worst part is no matter how many times they’re “eliminated,” a brand-new Bishop gets hired the next month and the pattern repeats itself.

A Corporate Company Gaslights Employees When It Tries To Kill Them

Remember the beginning of Aliens and how Weyland-Yutani rejected Ellen Ripley’s explanation of the events that happened on the Nostromo? “Oh, you almost died on our ship. No, it can’t be. Are you sure you remember it properly? Maybe you hit your head and dreamed it all…” These MFers knew exactly what was going on due to Ash’s feedback, then actually sent colonists to LV-426 as guinea pigs. But no, Weyland-Yutani pretends like it’s shocked and appalled to hear the news, knowing full well that the booger-sugar-sniffing board approved it.

Sounds a lot like how HR complaints in big corporate companies go, right? “Oh, your manager told you to climb to the top of the building without a harness and you proceeded to fall through the glass and hurt your back? You know, you’re lucky the company doesn’t take the repair costs of that window out of your salary.”

Companies Never Learn From Their Mistakes

How many times has the Xenomorph run rampant in the Alien movies? In every film, duh! Even when Weyland-Yutani tries to splice their DNA or attempt to use them as bioweapons, the corporation fails to control them – spectacularly. The result? Death and destruction. Now, for a corporate company, that isn’t all bad news. A few less staff members around means less salaries to pay, while the wreckage encourages an insurance claim to get snazzy new equipment and swiveling chairs.

Ultimately, though, Weyland-Yutani’s failures and insistence to continue doing the same thing over and over again isn’t called madness – instead, it’s deemed a road map for corporates. Many believe that they must stick to the course laid out in a boardroom meeting that no one bothered to take the notes for, and adhere to a set of principles created in the Industrial Revolution. That’s why companies still want staff members to return to the office so they can be on Team calls and instant message each other from across the table all day.

When Times Are Tough, You Will Be Abandoned

In the Alien movies, Weyland-Yutani issues direct instructions to the crew or through the androids. In most cases, the crew follow these orders and do as they are told, even when anyone with a brain can see the plan is a bad idea. Yet, when the feces really hits the fan and it’s time for senior management to step in and take control… Well, buddy, you’re on your own. Enjoy burning with that ship or being a host for the alien’s spawn while the Weyland-Yutani execs sip pina coladas and ride motorbikes through the winding and gorgeous mountain paths.

Oh, but this isn’t unique to the Alien movies at all. Corporate employees follow direct instructions from their managers all the time, often having no choice but to accept what’s issued or be targeted for being a dissenter. However, when a decision proves to be the wrong one in the end, the leaders parachute out of there and let their subordinates face the music. At least the Xenomorphs aren’t that duplicitous… 

Tell us, what have you learned from the Alien movies?