Movies hijack your imagination and drag you on trips you can’t afford. One minute you’re plotting to become an action star, a princess, or that handsome guy who falls hopelessly in love with the most beautiful girl in town. Then the screen kicks in its rulebook. I’ve rounded up 10 ridiculous things that only happen in movies. Keep score.
1. Hacking Top Security Databases
A hacker furiously types into a DOS-based operating system, but after 10 seconds, he manages to bypass a high-security password-protected database. It happens in nearly every crime thriller film known to man. The CIA really needs to work on a better UI and move on from the DOS-based interface. Secondly, they really need to stop using “password123” and variations thereof as their secret PINs.
2. The Airport Scene
The final act airport scene has been used to death. Just as the leading lady is getting on the plane, the lead guy does some math and realizes that he actually loves her. In a crazy mad rush, he drives across the city through peak traffic in hopes of stopping her before she gets on the plane.
Dude, have you ever heard of a cell phone? This amazing electronic device allows you to talk to someone anywhere in the world at any time. Call her up, tell her to chill, and you’ll be there to pick her up once you make your way through traffic. Or if that doesn’t work, call her when she lands or fly there too.
3. Microphone Feedback
If a microphone is turned on, there will immediately be feedback. It’s important to always hire a good sound engineer when doing an event. Unfortunately, this is a lesson that people in the movies have never learnt. No matter the movie, no matter the genre, this always happens.
4. Hiding in the Ventilation System
Hide and seek can become a very complicated game. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected, right? Only in the movies.
5. Single Women and Cats
All single women have a cat. It’s a law, like gravity. In the real world, however, single women have dogs. Everyone knows that.
6. Disposable Guns
If your gun runs out of bullets, simply chuck it away. It’s no wonder crime is so high with all the disposable guns lying around. But hey, it’s not like they cost much anyway. I’m sure that AK47 won’t set you back more than a dollar.
7. Good Phone Etiquette
Good phone etiquette is hard to come across in the movies. Watch closely, and you’ll notice that most actors never say bye before putting the phone down (the only exception is if they’re talking to their mother). Who are these barbarians?
8. The action movie rules:
- Bad guys have the worst shooting aim. They seem to enjoy targeting floors and walls.
- When outnumbered in a fight, don’t panic. The very patient bad guys will take turns attacking you.
- All bombs are fitted with a large red LED display, which counts down the time of the explosion.
- Hitting a guy with a glass vase over the head won’t cause any brain damage. Instead, the poor fellow will just lie unconscious for a few moments.
- Movie elevators are always ready on that floor. But if the hero/heroine is being chased, the elevator won’t come.
- If it’s a martial arts film, they will fight in perfect one-two rhythm and form, hit-block-hit-block.
- A single bullet can cause a car to explode if you simply hit the fuel tank.
- Tough guys become hopeless romantics just before the final showdown fight. Having a woman around to smooch during a gunfight is good luck.
- If you leap into a cab and shout, “Follow that car!” the driver will oblige.
- Just about anyone can render almost any human being totally unconscious with a single punch.
9. The News
Someone runs into the room and says, “Turn on the news! They’re talking about you,” and when they turn on the TV, the story in question is just starting. Uncanny! That person just time travelled from the future to deliver important news. But the shock of being on TV grabs the attention away from their friend’s amazing abilities. Fringe science!
10. The Applauding Crowd
The clapping/applauding crowd is one of the biggest movie clichés. It usually starts off with one person standing up to slow clap, followed by another person and another until everyone joins in.
We could go on to mention other things that only happen in movies — like kissing in the rain, everyone magically knowing the choreography to a dance, never having to go to the bathroom, and petrol attendants having red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets. The list is truly endless.
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Tell us, what other bizarre things only happen in movies?
