I Played TMNT: Mutants Unleashed and Wish I Hadn’t

Full disclaimer: I’m a massive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan who dreams of a time when I’ll share a pizza with the franchise’s co-creator Kevin Eastman and discuss the enigma of Ace Duck. Expectedly, I couldn’t wait to get shell-shocked by TMNT: Mutants Unleashed, since it looked like an old-school type of video game. Well, let’s say I was shocked – that’s for sure. It’s 2024 and video game developers and publishers still believe they can disrespect us with subpar garbage like this and get away with it. Hands down, this is easily the worst TMNT of all time and an insult even to the kids who might want to check it out.

In 2022, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge arrived and delighted several generations of fans. It wasn’t a complex video game by any means. Instead, it took what worked from the original Konami arcade games and applied 21st-century technological sensibilities. Even two years after its release, it continues to be an addictive and fun time as it captures the silliness and likability of the original animated series.

So, the prototype for TMNT: Mutants Unleashed was right there in its 2022 predecessor. It could have taken what had worked in the previous game and applied it to this title – the only change would be that this game follows the adventures of the Turtles from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem movie, not the 1987 cartoon. There are hints of the influence, since this game allows for co-op play and encourages a brawl-for-all combat system. However, it includes a ton of unnecessary RPG elements and exposition cutscenes – like, I mean, a lot of exposition.

In what feels like an odd and unwelcome throwback to the early PlayStation days, these cutscenes go on and on about seemingly nothing, and aren’t even any good to begin with. The graphics are jaggy and dated, while the dialogue is about as good as anything written for The Acolyte. This is the Turtles, but if they were created by the same people who make Sharknado movies.

Then, there’s the gameplay… Woof! While it’s expected to be repetitive since it’s a button-masher after all – oh, my Knull! I have had more fun trying to survive eating five-day-old pizza than this killjoy. The enemies are about as smart as every political commentator on X and feel more like training exercises than threats. The combat lacks any intuition or engaging elements – coming across like an early beta version of a mobile game. Then, there’s the 3D aspect that adds absolutely nothing either, almost as if the developers discovered Sonic 3D Blast for the first time and copied it – badly.

But hey, TMNT: Mutants Unleashed‘s story mode is only 14 hours or so – it can’t be that bad, right? I felt every single minute of these 14 hours. There was not a single laugh, smile, or fleeting moment of joy to be had here. It’s soulless and empty – like the characters’ eyes – and a deliberate cash-in on the goodwill from the movie. It’s even more sad because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is totally bodacious and did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. It’s almost as if someone dug LJN out of the grave and told the studio it needed a terrible adaptation of a popular franchise.

Sorry, but this isn’t turtle power – it’s turtle soup. I can’t recommend TMNT: Mutants Unleashed to a single person, and I don’t even know who this was for in the first place. Rather play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge, which respects both the lore and fans. Rant over.

RELATED: Artist Richard Chen Modernizes The TMNT. And It’s Epic!