In the ’90s, before Two and a Half Men ended Friends‘ reign and dominated the sitcom space, there was Everybody Loves Raymond. Centred around the home life of sports columnist Ray Barone and his eccentric family, the show was known for its abrasive humour and over-the-top banter.
Sitcoms are a reflection of their times. The jokes that passed as acceptable on TV in the eighties could be downright blasphemous these days, and the same thing will happen with contemporary comedies in a decade or two. It’s inevitable. However, there’s a line between what’s okay and what isn’t – and that line has remained unchanged since the origins of television. In some cases, Everybody Loves Raymond crossed that line.
I’m a fan of sarcastic humour. Seinfeld is pretty much my favourite show – and everyone there is the very definition of an awful person. However, Raymond goes a step beyond that, being mean for meanness’s sake. That’s why it’s easy to see why some aspects of the show have aged like the finest milk.
Now, all of this doesn’t imply that Everybody Loves Raymond is a bad show. That’s not the point of this article. What’s undeniable is that, deep down, some things about the show – and how it portrays its characters – can be just weird. Without further ado, here are four reasons why Everybody Loves Raymond aged poorly.
4. Why Ray and Debra’s Relationship Feels Toxic by Today’s Standards
The relationship between Ray and Debra, intended to be the heartwarming core of the show, is shockingly toxic by today’s standards. The two constantly bicker, undermine and irritate one another in excessively mean ways all for some phony laughs. Worst of all is that Ray is usually the one to blame in most scenarios.
When you make the main characters unlikable, you have to make it so they’re unlikable to the rest of the characters in the series – not for the viewer. Again, that’s what Seinfeld does. Ray frequently lies to and manipulates Debra, at one point even taping over their wedding video just to record a Super Bowl match.
All of this would’ve been forgiven if Ray had a foil to his toxic behaviour. Could you imagine if The Big Bang Theory was just non-stop Sheldon? Because that’s what Everybody Loves Raymond is – a pack of wild Sheldons.
3. Ray Barone’s Lack of Loyalty Makes Him Hard to Like
Picture Homer Simpson: a bumbling fool who always manages to make the lives of everyone surrounding him all the more complicated. However, at the end of the day, Homer is also a dedicated family man who loves his family – and his wife – more than anything. These are “redeeming qualities,” also known as “things Ray Barone lacks.”
Ray was unfaithful to Debra on more than one occasion. Granted, he never outright cheated on her, but that wasn’t for lack of effort. He flirted with nearly every female guest star, leaving the pillars of his marriage in question. Raymond was a womanizer and of the worst kind, too.
As the “man of the house,” Ray expected Debra to fulfil his needs and whims. While this was mostly played for laughs, sometimes, it could be downright uncomfortable to watch. It certainly casts a different light on Raymond as a person and makes it all the more unlikely that “everybody” loves the guy.
Another aspect of Ray’s relationship that might rub viewers the wrong way is how he always questions Debra’s every decision – including why she stays with him. From an outside perspective, their relationship just sounds catastrophically dysfunctional. Even in a comedy like this, you’ve got to wonder why don’t the characters simply file for divorce at this point. At the very least, it would have been a better course of action for Ray – the only time he did something for Debra’s sake.
2. Frank and Marie Barone: The Most Problematic Parents in Sitcom History
From misogynistic remarks to casual racism and everything in between, there’s no sin Frank Barone isn’t guilty of. An all-around curmudgeon, Frank’s unlikable character just makes the show feel all the more mean-spirited than usual. The worst part is that he, like his son, treats his wife like no more than an object.
Speaking of his wife, Marie Barone isn’t any sweeter than her husband. Naggy, nosy, and a nuisance to everyone around her, Marie is never seen as anything more than a mere joke for the show. While this might be a play on the whole idea that Raymond is just a live-action cartoon – see Married With Children – it does come off as a bit more mean-spirited than just that.
Perhaps it’s the combination of all the toxicity from the show that makes Marie’s character seem even worse than she already is. I mean, every show in the 80s and 90s had the nosy parent-in-law or neighbour. Alf had it with Raquel Ochmonek, and so did Seinfeld with Jerry’s mom, Helen. Come to think of it, they were both played by the amazing Liz Sheridan – a bit of a typecast there. But that’s beside the point.
The worst part of the family dynamics in Everybody Loves Raymond is that it paints nastiness and an all-around disinterest in the well-being of your loved ones as something “normal.” The characters in Raymond end up being the opposite of relatable, mostly because so many of them lack any basic human decency.
1. Why Robert Barone Is the Only Likeable Character in Everybody Loves Raymond
It’s a bit of a running joke that everyone is so infatuated with Raymond that they leave his brother, Robert, ignored. If there was a reason for us as an audience to sympathize with the characters in their indifference, maybe this could have been overlooked. Perhaps Robert is a bit mean to his family? Or is he a cheapskate? The reality, however, is that Robert’s most egregious fault is that he isn’t Raymond.
Robert is usually the butt of every joke in Everybody Loves Raymond. In fact, the show’s title comes from one of Robert’s early catchphrases, when he used to mumble “Everybody loves Raymond” under his breath – showing he was well aware of how much everyone loved his younger brother more than him.
That said, Robert rarely acted on negative impulses. If anything, he’s one of the few characters in the show who actively serves his community, so, of course, he deserves to be mocked. Fortunately for the show, Robert might be the single redeeming factor in this whole sitcom.
If you see Everybody Loves Raymond as Robert’s character story, it all makes perfect sense. The title is one of his catchphrases, and he’s the only character that shows a real “evolution” throughout the show. Moving out of his parents’ house, finding love, and getting married – Robert is a real character in a sea of caricatures.
So, if you ever come across some Raymond re-runs, try to look at them from Robert’s perspective. Not only is the show funnier that way – with everyone being so over-the-top about his whole persona – but it also helps in keeping the show alive for a bit longer. Even if some of the jokes can be downright cringe-inducing at times. But, hey, that’s all part and parcel of ageing sitcoms, and it’s why we love them so much, except for Frank. Nobody loves Frank.
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Do you think that Everybody Loves Raymond has aged badly?
I love and still watch the show. Quit ragging on a great, funny, iconic tv show!