SUBSCRIBE
F O R T R E S S
No Result
View All Result
  • MOVIES
  • TV
  • GAMING
  • TECH
  • COMICS
  • CULTURE
    • BOOKS
    • TOYS
    • SNEAKERS
    • INTERNET
    • WIN
  • VIDEO
Fortress of Solitude
  • MOVIES
  • TV
  • GAMING
  • TECH
  • COMICS
  • CULTURE
    • BOOKS
    • TOYS
    • SNEAKERS
    • INTERNET
    • WIN
  • VIDEO
SUBSCRIBE
No Result
View All Result
Fortress of Solitude
No Result
View All Result

Deadpool Reviews A Suicide Squad Review

Home > Movies > Deadpool Reviews A Suicide Squad Review

Deadpool Reviews A Suicide Squad Review

Mr PoolbyMr Pool
August 8, 2016
in Movies
Tags: ColumnsDeadpool
ShareTweetSend

One of the biggest misconceptions about DC and Marvel characters is that we hate each other (I only hate Green Lantern. F**k that guy), and that’s total crap. Like Hulk-sized craps! We’re all broheroes and brovillains, man. We spend our days laughing at you nerds who fight about us on the Internet while we bang your mammas and make mutant stepsiblings for you.

So, in solidarity with my DC hombres, I’ve decided to review a Suicide Squad review by the New Yawker and see what this n00b said. I’ll be channelling my inner journalist and lazily post excerpts of the review that only further my agenda, so enjoy!

Deadpool Reviews A Suicide Squad Review

“Waller’s reasoning, if I follow it correctly, is that the next terrorist could be a superhero. (It’s an interesting theory, given the damage and distress that is currently being caused, in Europe, America, and elsewhere, by individuals who, far from being preternaturally gifted, are easily gulled, unsound of mind, and short on social skills. But this is a movie based on DC comics, and is therefore unlikely to brush more than glancingly against the world we know.)” [Uh, did you just equate terrorists to comic book characters? Too soon, brah…]

“First up is Deadshot (Will Smith). You’ll never guess how he earned his nickname.” [Actually, he earned his nickname in Batman #59 in 1950. Imagine if David Ayer had included my clone from another bone, Deathstroke, in this film. KA-BOOM! That’s the sound of your brain exploding, by the way.]

“Next up is Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), a psychiatrist turned psychopath—that old story. She now wears her hair in bunches and giggles at the prospect of destruction.” [I know. I haven’t rubbed that fast since 2014’s The Fappening.]

“Her paramour is the Joker (Jared Leto), who has braces on his teeth [LOLWUT?!] and hair like freshly mowed grass.” [I didn’t see you criticising Yogi Bear in The Revenant for her I-want-to-speak-to-the-manager haircut. Why do you treat psychopaths differently? #PsychosMatter. Speaking of other animals that eat grass, how’s your… FINE! I won’t say your mom.]

“Also in the offing is Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), whose dermatological issues are so clearly indebted to those of Ben Grimm, in “Fantastic Four,” that I can hear the distant rumble of a lawsuit.” [First, terrorism. Now, Fant4stic Four. Are you a sadist?]

“Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), whose very surname reminds him of his duty. He is, we learn, ‘the finest Special Forces officer this nation has ever produced.’” [Dude, you’re acting as if you’ve only heard of these characters now. Google is your friend. SMFH.]

“This perpetual overreach, desperate to outdo anything that might smack of regularity, has the genuine tang of adolescence; it is as though all the characters, even the ones not adorned with tattoos, are straining to shock their parents or to drive them nuts.” [Do you not read comic books? EVERYONE IS AN ORPHAN! THEIR PARENTS WERE MURDERED! You just made fun of orphans in your review, ha-ha.]

“What are the chances for gun control, honestly, if this is what Hollywood—supposedly a fortress of liberal attitudes—prefers to hold aloft, these days, by way of a heroic stand?” [I didn’t see Finding Dory addressing this issue and those f**king fish are packing!]

“There is a roster of movies, reaching back through ‘The Wild Bunch’ (1969) to ‘Seven Samurai’ (1954) and beyond, in which the binding and the bonding of the fighters, however fraught, acted as a humane counterpoise to the violence that they were destined, or designed, to mete out.” [Do you wear a fedora and listen to banjo rock by any chance?]

Deadpool Reviews A Suicide Squad Review

OVERALL RATING: F

Sorry, New Yawker, but you get an F because you have no f**king clue. I suspect your colleagues trolled you and said you’d be watching Nine Lives with Kevin Spacey instead and you got piles from sitting on a cold floor for too long. In fact, your balloon knot must look like one rotten tomato (cue Jared Leto’s Joker’s cross of a laugh and pushing out a turd).

ShareTweetSend

FOLLOW US

ADVERTISEMENT

POPULAR

  • The 15 Most Powerful Characters In The Marvel Universe

    The 15 Most Powerful Characters In The Marvel Universe

    24 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • The 15 Most Powerful Anime Characters Of All Time

    1 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • 12 Most Powerful Characters In The DC Universe

    139 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Superman & Lois Introduces A Black Lex Luthor

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Franklin Richards: Marvel Confirms The Most Powerful Mutant Character

    4 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Deadpool 3
Movies

Deadpool 3 Is Gaining Momentum At Disney and Marvel Studios

byCharlene Badasie
November 23, 2020
R-Rated Comic Book Movies Might Be Completely Unnecessary
Movies

R-Rated Comic Book Movies Are Completely Unnecessary

byNeilan Adams
July 7, 2020
Deadpool 3
Movies

Wow! Did Ryan Reynolds Pitch A Deadpool Movie Where He Kills Fox’s Marvel Universe?

byCharlene Badasie
June 26, 2020
Deadpool Talking Head Toy
Toys

Take My Money! Hasbro’s Talking Deadpool Head Is Hilariously Inappropriate

byCharlene Badasie
June 22, 2020
Deadpool 3
Movies

Deadpool Creator Believes There Won’t Be A Deadpool 3 At Marvel

byStaff Writer
May 11, 2020

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fortress of Solitude

Fortress of Solitude

Fortress of Solitude has become one of the most popular geek entertainment interest websites in South Africa and covers news and reviews on movies, games, comic books, gadgets, TV series, toys, sneakers and more.

The articles on Fortress of Solitude are written by a group of talented, professional and experienced freelance writers, all experts and leaders in their various fields.

Categories

  • Board Games
  • Books
  • Comic Books
  • Competitions
  • Gaming
  • Internet
  • Movies
  • Podcast
  • Sneakers
  • Tech
  • Toys
  • TV Series

Newsletter

Sign up for news in your inbox.

  • For more information on COVID-19
  • About Us
  • Authors
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy & Site Disclaimer
  • Contact Fortress of Solitude

© 2021 Fortress of Solitude, a division of Fortress Entertainment. Registered in South Africa. All Rights Reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • Latest
  • Home
  • Movies
  • Gaming
  • Comic Books
  • Tech
  • TV
  • Toys
  • Sneakers
  • Win
  • Video
  • Fortress Podcast
  • Subscribe
  • About
  • Contact
  • RSS Feeds
  • Privacy & Site Disclaimer

© 2021 Fortress of Solitude, a division of Fortress Entertainment. Registered in South Africa. All Rights Reserved.