Aliens: Colonial Marines was a game that got a lot of people excited. Originally announced in 2006, it has gone through several development restarts until eventually it was delivered in 2013. Proving once again that even a pig can look good with enough makeup on, Colonial Marines arrived and broke the hearts of many ardent Alien fans. It’s a very bad game, and it should be ashamed of itself for dressing up like it was anything better.
Aliens: Colonial Marines takes place just after the film Aliens, where military forces arrive to investigate the ship and colony that just previously Ellen Ripley had escaped from. They arrive, and most of them die immediately, except for your character, because he’s awesome. And, apparently, Aliens die like flies now.
Remember in the first Alien movie, where a single monster struck terror into our hearts as viewers? Here I got bored after killing about my 10th monster. As another Xenomorph scuttled across my screen and into my cross-hairs to die immediately, I realised I just didn’t care. I cared slightly more when I was attacked by wave after wave of human enemies, but it was more of an angry sort of caring, an indignation that I was forced to kill human enemies in a licensed Alien game.
Added to this is a bevvy of other faults. The graphics look like a PS2 game at best; the AI is painfully stupid, the weapons are boring, the characters racially insensitive at best and pointless the rest of the time; the game cheats to kill you and the forces you back a million kilometres, and above all; the greatest sin of all; it took the act of killing Xenomorphs, one of fictions greatest monsters, and made it boring.
And, for that, Aliens: Colonial Marines can’t be forgiven. I’m sure Barbie’s Horse Adventure and such are worse games than this one, but this one scores so low because as well as all of its failings, there was nothing stopping it being better aside from laziness and sloppiness. Shame on you Gearbox Software.