Vampire-Academy Review
Genre: ,
Age Restriction:
Studio: Reliance Entertainment. IM Global and Kintop Pictures
Running Time: 100 mins

Verdict: 2.5 / 5

A certain kind of appreciation needs to be given to a bad movie that wins the hearts of fans. It is like that seemingly horrible animation, that tedious and repetitive song or that beyond freakily costumed character that our children adore. So bad, but so addictive.

they suck at school

So bad, but so addictive is exactly what Vampire Academy is. Based on the first novel in the series of best-selling books released by author Richelle Mead, these young-adult paranormal romance novels focus on eighteen year old Rose Hathaway (Zoey Deutch). What you will discover in this movie, is that there are different kinds of vampires (Shock! Horror!); Dhampirs, Morioi and Strigoi. Up to this point in our lives we were deceived into thinking that there was only one type of Vampire, and “they are not the glittery ones”, as Rose so aptly puts it. The vampires we know are the Strigoi, evil vampires which turn others into their kind with their bite. Apparently the other two are quite nice and less blood thirsty; they even eat the occasional burger. In any event, Rose, who is Dhampir, is a bodyguard destined to defend her best friend Vasilisa, “Lissa”, Dragomir (Lucy Fry), a Moroi. With her feisty attitude and boundless loyalty, the two find themselves in some very sticky situations which most teenage vampires seem to find themselves in: fighting the Stragoi, solving mysteries and using their magic and awesome ninja skills to overcome evil, all the while tackling normal teenage problems such as school bullies, popularity contests and falling in love with well-built instructors.

Surprisingly, if you overlook the rather bad acting and over-the- top accents which leave you under the impression that anyone belonging to a royal family must speak in a posh British accent, the storyline is actually really detailed and imaginative. Granted, often the imaginativeness leads to something bordering on the macabre, but on the whole it is enjoyable. It is obvious that Rose’s love interest was chosen for his toned body alone but then we ignore many other bad actors for the privilege of seeing good bodies (we will take one for the team). Even though there was a fairly unexpected twist at the end, there were many times when you would cringe at the unnatural dialogue and the logic of a vampire teenager.

they suck at school

This is, like, a serious tweeny movie. If you don’t know yet what a tween is, it is someone who is between the ages of 10 and 14, maybe 15; in between being a kid and a teenager. It’s a glorious stage of life to be in. You are not exposed enough to know that you are not watching a high-end Oscar worthy movie and you are not so jaded that you can’t enjoy it. You just watch to enjoy the watching. In all honesty, this is not a bad movie if you take it as it is.

Unfortunatly for the haters, there are already plans for a sequel. Surprisingly, even though it did so terribly at the box office, it is the fans who have planted this idea in the minds of the producers, demanding that the next instalment of the series be transferred to the big screen. The producers have essentially said to the fans that if they can help raise funds via personal contributions then they are on. What? Crowd-funding for a B class vampire movie? Bring it on.

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