Verdict: 2 / 5
Alas, the sappy fifth and final chapter in the Stephenie Meyer’s unfeasibly popular vampire fantasy series, Twilight, is filled with necrophilia, pedophilia, cheese, paranormal love triangles, bloodsucking romance and a flash or two of Jacob’s abs – in other words, more of the usual.
And so it all ends, although a little better than it started, with another flawed melodramatic spectacle for Twihard fans to celebrate and haters to hate. Even so, despite having little motivation to seek new converts, Breaking Dawn Part 2 is bound to be an unfortunate smash hit.
After eighteen years of being utterly ordinary, I finally found that I could shine. My time as a human was over. But I never felt more alive, I was born to be a vampire. Everything was falling into place even The Volturi seem to accept my new status. It seems to be one enemy left, time. Renesmee was growing too fast. We all worried about how long we would have with her. It just made every moment more precious. – Bella
What To Read Next
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 has brought an end to the campy franchise that produced the world’s very first friendly, romantic, shiny vampire. Possibly the most ridiculed movie series of recent years, due to its poor performances, tangling plotlines, goofy characters, feeble visual effects and corny dialogue, Twilight has seen a decline in quality, but less surprisingly, an increase in box office takings.
In the much darker and less plot driven Breaking Dawn Part 2, the cast seems more self-aware of the silliness and noticeably have a little more fun with their roles this time around. Despite being easy to pick apart, there are tiny glimmers of entertainment hidden within the cracks, especially within the film’s third act which concludes with an epic battle between paranormal forces. Of course, Twilight just wouldn’t be the same without its incessant, kitschy, overbearing and forced indie pop soundtrack played over silly montages and it’s over emotional and painful cheesy romantic one-liners. Sigh!
[To Edward] So should I start calling you dad? – Jacob
The film picks up directly after Part 1’s ending; Bella (Kristin Stewart) is now transformed into a vampire like her husband Edward (Robert Pattinson). As she learns to master her new abilities, Alice has a vision of an upcoming attack by the Volturi clan, who believe their half-breed daughter, Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy), to be an abomination of their kind. Together with the help of Jacob (Taylor Lautner), Renesmee’s mate, they assemble a small army, recruiting like-minded vampires, to fend against the attack. What ensues is an epic battle filled with angry CGI werewolves, emo vampires with magical powers and bloodless decapitations.
[To Jacob] You imprinted on my daughter! She’s a baby! – Bella
The end result is a fitting ending to a tiresome franchise that has long lost its flavour and appeal. My biggest fear is that the protracted ending offered seems anything but final. Yes, there just might be more to come.
As my fiancé so kindly put it, “Twilight is a corn festival”.