Breaking the Girls Review

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Genre: ,
Age Restriction:
Studio: Myriad Pictures
Running Time: 83 mins

Verdict: 1 / 5

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, time for a fun trivia game. Did you know that homosexuals are largely comprised of human beings, and as such, consist of human emotions, hopes and dreams and wishes beyond mere sexual exploitation? If you did know that, well done to you, but I’m afraid that the creators of this torrid mess were not as educated as you and I.

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Well, to be fair, exploitation isn’t just sexual in this film. There was once a film made by a quite famous director called Alfred Hitchcock called Strangers on a Train. In this film, two men met quite by chance on a train, and after discussing their life’s problems together, resolved to kill the cause of the distress in the opposite mans life, thus removing their problem and leaving a perfect alibi, as both men were completely unknown to each other. It was a rather good thriller movie, and even if you don’t know of its existence, the plot and the system have been recycled into a million other pieces of pop culture. What the creators of Breaking the Girls have done, is steal the plot verbatim, while at the same time ruining whatever attraction there was in the first place. Well done guys.

Instead of the two strangers, we have good girl Sara (Agnes Bruckner) who is introduced into a dark and sensual new life by wild party girl Alex (Madeline Zima) while also somehow linking with pretty boy Shawn Ashmore, if only to have a threesome scene half-bakedly shoved in. Again, both girls resolve to kill each other’s problem person in life, but unlike the original, these girls are well known to be linked and dating, making their rationale behind getting away with it rather harder to swallow.

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What follows from there is a rather off-putting menagerie of violence and sexually charged scenes of a lesbian nature, which is just as terrible to made a movie of as you’d imagine. Maybe even 30 years ago this wouldn’t have felt so terrible, but nowadays it comes across as massively distasteful, insulting and horrifically out of date.

If you want to have your intellect and morals insulted by a movie for 90 minutes, then go ahead and watch this. Alternately, consider sitting in a corner hitting your head with a spoon, which I promise will be ultimately more fun and a better use of your time.

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