Verdict: .5 / 5
Arguably, the hardest genre to write or act for successfully is comedy. What separates funny from trying too hard, from rolling in the aisles to boring completely is a very fine line that only the most skilled movie makers are able to walk. Balls to the Wall has a joke about testicles in its title, and sadly it’s all downhill from there.
Our hero, Ben, wishes to marry his lovely sweetheart, Rachel. As per order, he is rather clumsily nerdish, and one suspects what trickery was involved to nab the beautiful, A+ girl. Sadly though, those are the events of another story, and ours picks up with Ben faced by the problem that his prospective father in law does not have the money needed for his dream wedding. A series of calamities take place that leads to the average and goofy looking Ben finding work as a male stripper, and eventually aiming to win Strippapalooza, an annual stripping championship. Will Ben succeed? Is the audience able to stand the suspense? Oh what bold plot twists could there possibly be in store for us!
This film suffers from the major problem that it has one joke: people are normally clothed, so when they’re naked, it’s funny! And when they’re not especially good-looking and a bit awkward, it’s even funnier! Maybe we could mention balls, because the word “balls” is inherently funny, isn’t it? The best way to describe this film is insipid, it’s rarely funny, and really not often enough to be laugh out loud even, and without that, the plot just meanders and drags on. Hursely shows some potential as possibly making something of himself as an actor, and I suppose films like these are part of paying your dues, I only hope he doesn’t taint himself with too many before moving on to better things.
One positive I suppose is that there is also a large array of handsome and beautiful looking barely clad people, of both genders, making this an equal opportunity ogle-fest. But, if that was really what you were here for, surely there are far better avenues for such interests than a plodding, unfunny movie such as this.
Sarcasm feels like much the best way to deal with such a film, because there can be really only two reasons for its existence: that a corporate exec thought that this would appeal to some demographic; or secondly, someone saw this as a loving personal creation to be given to the world. Both are eminently depressing conclusions, and when faced with such a choice, the best response is mockery. Only, keep it to that, and don’t actually waste your time on the movie itself. Unless you laugh whenever balls are mentioned.