Looking back, we’ve been blessed with some outstanding and award-winning superhero video games, from the likes of the Arkham series to Ultimate Spider-Man. However, we’ve also encountered a stinker for every gem, and now it’s time to expose these rotten eggs for what they truly are. Here are five superhero video games that should’ve never been made:
- Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000)
When you consider the source material, this one really hurts. Gadgets, fast-paced action, a futuristic world… Batman Beyond had it all, so why did this game fail? Well, the gadgetry was replaced by changing the game primarily into a limp beat ‘em up and it looked more like an unfinished beta than the real deal. Also, it didn’t help that if you died, you went right back to the start. Literally. THERE WERE NO SAVE POINTS. What monster does this to a gamer?!
- Fantastic Four (1997)
I feel sorry for the Fantastic Four. They were Marvel’s first family, but every leap to another medium has ended up like a Kentucky-fried turd sandwich. Not only were the films bad (let’s not even mention Josh T(r)ank’s unholy abomination), but the titular video game released in 1997 pornographically sucked, too. The story was dreadful, enemies were too powerful, and the missions were far too short for the retail price of the game. The CNA near my home always had this game on special, but no kid dared to purchase it because everyone knew how bad it was.
- X-Men: Destiny (2011)
As if right from the minds of the geniuses at FOX, someone decided it would be a good idea to make a game about the X-Men, but not let you play as an X-Man. Yes, I know they did this with X-Men Legends as well, but X-Men: Destiny was just plain bad. It didn’t help matter much that the game was mind-numbingly boring and degenerated into a moronic button smasher at the best of times, either. Why this game was ever made I’ll never know—but hey, at least it no longer exists today because of several lawsuits.
- Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis (2003)
You know, Aquaman gets a lot of stick from people because no one truly knows what he’s capable of. Most critics seem to think his superpowers involve speaking to dolphins and making water come out of his orifices. Sadly, these people were also the ones employed to create Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis. You’re never quite sure if you’re playing The Little Mermaid or an Aquaman game because it plays like a Sega Genesis title, even if it was released for Xbox in 2003. To make matters worse, it’s obvious the developers gave up halfway through and said, “Screw it. Let him battle the same guy all the time. It’ll be like the Foot Soldiers in the original TMNT game. Everyone loved that, right?”
- Superman 64 (1999)
Remember how you’d mess around in computer studies and build simplistic games like Snake, thinking, “Wow. This isn’t so hard”? Well, the now-defunct Titus Software must’ve hired a few first-years with minor experience in Turbo Pascal to create Superman 64—arguably the worst game of all time. It’s so glitchy that it becomes laughable and no one knows what the purpose of the gameplay is to this very day. I’m sure Superman flew through coloured rings because someone loved the lion from Circus Charlie—that’s the only explanation I can think of. This game reportedly took two years to make, proving once again that you can’t put a timeframe on making pure trash.