The blue Dutch/Belgium gnomes, known as the Smurfs, have been around for decades, around 53 years to be exact, reaching their height of popularity during the 80s as an animated cartoon series. Some 20 years later Jordan Kerner decided to turn the tale into CGI, targeting “today’s youth”, embarrassing an A-list cast that includes Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mays, George Lopez and Sofía Vergara. George Lopez? What the Smurf!?

PLOT: When the evil wizard Gargamel chases the tiny blue Smurfs out of their village, they tumble from their magical world into New York City.
DIRECTOR: Raja Gosnell
CAST: Hank Azaria, Katy Perry and Jonathan Winters
GENRE: LIVE ACTION-ANIMATION
AGE RESTRICTION: PG

It’s a typical fantasy story, with heavy Disney Influences. The festival of the Blue Moon is about to begin, and things are going quite “smurfy” for the Smurfs until Papa Smurf has a disturbing vision of the future. The vision starts to play out when the Smurfs are forced to go on the run from the evil wizard Gargamel after he discovers their secret village. As they make their way to safety Clumsy, accidentally goes the wrong way and a group of Smurfs follow after him. They soon stumble upon a portal that sucks them into New York City,with Gargamel not too far behind. Strangers in a new world, they find comfort in the home of a young married couple, Patrick and Grace Winslow. With the help of their new human friends they must find a way to return safely to their village.

Its familiar territory for those who have seen the equally ridiculous Garfield and Alvin & The Chipmunks. There is nothing quite as annoying as a children’s movie made solely to cash in on a new hype, or in this case Smurfy cuteness. This is by far the most uninspired title I have seen in years, but sadly none of this affected the movie’s profits. The Smurfs Movie opened in both 2D and 3D grossing a record breaking R7.2 million, and amazingly it is also the biggest ever opening weekend for Sony, surpassing Spiderman and Hancock. By the time that you read this review hundreds of thousands of South Africans, both young and old, would have seen this movie. But heed my warning; not only does this movie suck, but it’s also far more accommodative to kids than adults.

Who smurfed? With a long list of A-list actors showcasing their talents, Katy Perry as Smurfette, Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf, Alan Cumming as Gutsy Smurf, George Lopez as Grouchy Smurf and Anton Yelchin as Clumsy Smurf, it’s hard to believe that the story still falls flat. But what did you expect? The writers are the same guys who delivered us the painful Daddy Day Camp and Norbit. The humour is exceedingly weak – mostly relying on cheesy lines, “flou” jokes and slapstick moments to encourage laughter. A good example is when Pop singer Katy Perry’s Smurfette blurts out, “I kissed a Smurf and I liked it.”

I’m Blue Da Ba De Da Ba Di. There is an outrageous abundance of Sony product placements throughout the film, including the Vaio laptop, The Blu-ray for the Blue Man group, among many others, strategically placed to grab the attention of adults watching. This wouldn’t be such a big problem if it weren’t so obvious. But again, this is the least of the problems The Smurfs have.

It’s smurfingly stupid. You’ve been warned!

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